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Llewyn And My Heart

llewyn llewyn2

I generally make it a point not to share insignificant personal things here because I want my work to stand on its own, but having deleted my other social networking outlets I am experiencing both sharing-withdrawal and a cuteness overload. (I could write a separate piece altogether about how the expulsion of Facebook/Instagram has changed my life for the complete better, but I’m sure you can fill in all the blanks yourself- it’s not hard.)

I rescued a baby squirrel tonight from a mean gang of stray cats in the parking lot behind my usual coffee shop. I wasn’t even planning on going tonight, but sometimes I get apathetic and my car drives itself. I was wondering why these kittens weren’t scampering away from my car when I pulled in, and I found this little guy being swatted at and dragged around playfully.

I would’ve just about died if he’d been hurt but blessedly he was only in shock, and after scaring off the cats I scooped him up in a towel and took him inside. I was able to secure a bottle of warm water to put under the towel to keep him cozy until help arrived.

I fell in love with the little guy, as I most certainly always do, and wanted very much to keep him. I named him Llewyn, a name I’d had rolling around in case I ever had a baby boy. That, however, is highly unlikely to happen and so I had no problem giving it to such an innocent little fighter. I could not let him go for a second, even when help arrived in the form of a friend and former vet-tech who has raised other baby squirrels.

She was prepared to hand down all her squirrel-raising wisdom so that I could keep him, but I decided it would be best to leave him in the hands of someone more experienced and more capable of caring for him.

I’m inclined to blame it on hormones or the general emotional weakness of my gender, but although I’m generally a tough cookie, things like this really get to me. I get attached so easily, especially to animals and kids, and it’s always the case that I am ill-prepared to care for them. I love but I have this sad suspicion that I am just not cut out to be a mom.

But I guess the important thing is just to love, and to do what’s best for what you love, which can often mean letting it go where it will be nurtured best. Whether it’s animals or humans, it can be tough to look around and see what you haven’t got, who and what you’re not ready to take care of, but as long as you’ve got love, you’ve got a heart full of finger and paw prints.

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9 thoughts on “Llewyn And My Heart

  1. Gosh, Charlotte … this post speaks to me on two levels: one because I’m so happy for you that you rid your life of all that RUBBISH like FB and so on; and two because this baby creature … well, it’s hard to describe the pleasure in seeing it ecstatically enjoying your attention, and probably hoping you’ll never stop! As for “insignificant personal things” – it is, of course, your prerogative to see this that way. And I understand clearly what your motivation is. But don’t you think that this kind of tiny episode makes you a better person, and this a better poet? I’d put money on it. 🙂

  2. What a great story! The little Llewyn is a handsome little squirrel. Not many people would have done that.

    Don’t underestimate yourself. You’re blog, writing, occupation as a children’s librarian all add up to such and irreplaceable passion. These would add up to make you a great mother.

  3. Thanks for sharing this Charlotte! I think a blog post about your soc med withdrawal would be welcomed by a lot of people!

    Regards

    Jim

  4. Loved this, because, seriously, who doesn’t love baby squirrels?

    Also, I’m digging your blog and writing too. I deactivated FB at the end of the year, thinking I’d take a couple weeks off, and I haven’t been back since. Don’t even miss it.

    Nice to meet you, Christy

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