I never wanted a kid
but I think I just got one-
man I think one just landed in my arms.
I never wanted to get cliché
or real sentimental, y’know,
but here it is, time to get parental
and all of that schmaltzy stuff.
I never wanted to get down with all that,
calling things ‘babies’ and holdin’ ’em tight,
but they can be right about their mothering
and I’ll be over here with the oh-my-god kid
that rooted up my right to myself.