Reports are flooding in about a 25 year-old woman sighted at a local gym. Witnesses attest to watching her perform multiple sets of lunges, rows, curls, and push-ups in an attempt to, as one witness puts it, “get hot.” But the startling twist seems to be that the woman was already attractive, leaving other gym patrons perplexed.
“She spent like an hour on the treadmill this morning,” claims one bystander. “I sure as hell wouldn’t be doing that if I looked like her.”
Several other witnesses marveled at her useless dedication, citing alternative activities that she definitely could’ve been doing instead, including binge-watching Netflix, banging a bunch of guys, and eating “a crap-ton of pizza.”
When the woman herself was asked to comment she appeared to be shocked.
“Wait, what? I’m hot already? Damnit, why didn’t anybody tell me?”
She then threw her gym bag into a nearby trashcan and left, muttering something about cheesecake.