Reporters here at CharNN have completely abandoned our work in favor of crowding around a monitor to watch the trailer for that new superhero movie, but we can now safely report that it looks AWESOME!!!
We’ve all been waiting for a movie to be made about our favorite unsung hero who’s way better than all those other cliche heroes, and it’s finally here!
The movie tells the story of a person who overcomes a traumatic first-5-minute exposition, a difficult decision about their identity, and a training montage to become an attractive person with muscles who can beat people up/save people.
The middle of the movie presents a new challenge with the introduction of a villain, someone who has also survived a traumatic past only to decide to embody the EXACT OPPOSITE values as our hero! (We’ll pause here to note that although we weren’t super excited by early production stills of the villain’s costume/makeup, seeing it in action has put our fears to rest.)
At some point in the movie, our hero’s wildly-attractive-yet-intelligent love interest will be put in mortal danger, forcing him to make some tough slow-motion, violin-laden decisions regarding his identity and the difficulties which arise from being super.
And stuff blows up. Buses, buildings, trains, bridges, canning factories, schools, robots, people, and sports cars- it all blows up!
And sexy time happens. Vastly unrealistic, aerobically-near-impossible sexy time!
And finally, we presume, the hero wins, because the hero always has to win. But we’ll suspend our judgment until after dropping our 17 bucks at the Cineplex, because if for some reason the hero doesn’t win that means a sequel for next summer. Score!