Home » Flash Fiction » If God Was Ever In Dallas

If God Was Ever In Dallas

The hell if I was gonna let some chick in a Ren & Stimpy t-shirt tell me about God, but she was stacked like a Jenga tower so I just shut my mouth and pretended to listen. Wasn’t like I was getting off this bus anytime soon anyway. I still had another couple days until I ran out of money to pay the fare, and at least another four hours until we got to Dallas where I could hit up my Uncle for more. I hadn’t quite figured out the story I’d give him, how to weasel my way around him figuring out that I’d gone ape shit and hauled ass outta town for no good reason. You never can explain stuff like that when it happens, but maybe my fellow loo-loo on the bus here could give me some ideas.

To be honest I couldn’t really tell you what she was going on about, something about angels and near-death experiences. I was staring at her mouth and watching the way her lips wrinkled when she made the vowel “o” sound. She got uncomfortable quick enough and stopped talking so I made a random pass at salvaging the “conversation” with something I had actually been thinking about lately.

“So do cats go to heaven then? That’s all I wanna know.”

“Well that’s debatable, I guess-” blah blah. So that’s probably a no. That’s what I thought.

I remembered my parents having that same argument every so often, where they’d drag four different Bibles out and compare the Greek and Latin and Hebrew and whatever translations of certain scriptures. Mom was convinced that God had a soft heart for our furry companions and she always said heaven wouldn’t be the same without them. Dad was never too keen on letting anyone believe anything just to make them feel better. Dogs don’t have souls, that’s that. I never got an answer the whole time I was growing up, never knew if I was ever gonna see that fat black guinea pig again, but I guess I didn’t much care then. If dogs really don’t have souls then I’m damn sure no sniffling guinea pig ever got into heaven.

“Why do you want to know? Did you lose a pet?”

“Yeah actually. A cat. A rotten one that I rescued out of the river that wouldn’t stop pissing in my bed. I strangled it the other day and I really don’t want to hear any more about heaven or anything. Not to be rude but like, you understand.”

Her face, I mean HER FACE, you shoulda seen it. I kindof felt like I wished I was lying, like I could say “LOL jay-kay!” but she was the one who started talking to me, I didn’t bother her on a bus to Dallas about God. Have you ever been to Dallas? It’s nothing but concrete and yellow grass. If God has ever been there he’s long been cemented over by now, along with all the soulless cats that don’t matter anymore.

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21 thoughts on “If God Was Ever In Dallas

      • Hmmm, didn’t quite think that through ROFLMAO, but yeah. Vive la difference!

        Seriously, the idea that god botherers should be met with disdain is good. I’m not for cat stranglers though. Guess I need to read much more carefully. The character didn’t come off as a bad person the way I read it… sigh. My bad.

      • Know what? I don’t think I did miss it. You mistake me for someone that thinks there is good and bad in the world. I identify with the character not because they don’t like gods but because of how they are thinking/feeling in this story. Life is life. It’s a game. Killing a cat is no more evil than killing a hundred flies with a trap. Killing is killing. Respect for life? Not many people actually have it. To be honest about it is …hmmm … refreshing? A cat vs. 2500 Bengalis? is it really different? Does the world really care? While you read this comment 6 or more children under the age of 5 will die of starvation or related problems. Does anyone care? There is a cure for AIDs now. Do you see the church working over time to get the money to fix the problems in African continent? Nobody cares about life except when they have to look at the dead. Walking zombies, asleep in life, living in their dreams. Completely unaware of how cheap life is.

        It’s far more relevant to be annoyed by some idiot on a bus than think about how cheap life is to us. Well, that’s one look at it.

      • Another interpretation is that the guy on the bus is a cat-killing, confused, selfish asshole who’d rather stare at a girl’s body, not listen to her, and then be blunt for shock value rather than politely say he’s not interested in talking, and then blame God for all his problems. Just another perspective.

    • Next time someone accosts you about God you’re going to remember a story about a cat-strangler on a bus? …
      While yes I would agree that accosting strangers about religion is pretty annoying, I’d like you to consider that there is no character development of the girl in this story whatsoever. It’s not about her. It’s entirely about his reaction to her and how he connects parts of his life and perspective to this one occurrence.

  1. “Do you see the church working over time to get the money to fix the problems in African continent?” Yes, there are hundreds of ministries doing exactly that! How is it that people still don’t know about it? I’m amazed that folks who never set foot in a church or bother to find out at all will sit in judgement while they admit they have NO idea..How about actually volunteering instead of whining?

  2. Pingback: Monthly Mentions: September 2015 | Coolerbs Reviews

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