Day 9 – Private

I am not private,
I am not closed off.

I am ashamed of nothing
and I hold nothing back

if you ask.
But I will not volunteer it.

Everybody volunteers everything.

I don’t like the risk
of where things shouted into space
might end up,

which is most likely nowhere
anyway.

And I don’t want you to think
there’s nothing left
to ask.

Find It In Sunnyside

If you think you can,
go find it in Sunnyside.

If you think your apples
won’t look like potatoes anymore,
think the scenery
will keep you evergreen,

if you think that’s any kind of home
where you’ll be safe,
you probably will.

If you can find it in Sunnyside,
please do.

And when you find it,
drop me a letter,
tell me all about those skies-

I’ll forward all my mail to Sunnyside,
where I won’t ever find it.

52 Flashes of Fiction: Week 26 – A Thing Has Happened

A thing has happened that I don’t want to write about. That’s a cruddy first line, for sure, but it’s important.

A beautiful thing came into being for me and has happened and has ended and I don’t want to tell you about it. It would make for a heartbreakingly meaningful sort of story, one that speaks of reality and vulnerability and fate and human nature but the truth is that I won’t write it.

We spend a lot of time trying to scratch meaning out of everyday stuff, writers do. I can spin a teacup into a symbol of mortality, a trip to the mailbox into a tragedy, no problem. But when a real diamond of truth gets dropped in our laps we don’t know what to do with it because we don’t want to share it. I don’t want to share it.

Part of it is that I’ll probably get it wrong, and all the processing and labor it would take to get it right would suck the juice right out of it. Part of it is that things lose meaning when you write them down. Part of it is fear of losing control of it. Part of it is doubt.

But part of it is that I just don’t want to. I want something to be mine entirely, something to die with me. Something so tiny and profound must be allowed to seal its roots in the place where its memory will be loved best, where no opinions or changing seasons can ruin its purity. A thing has happened to me that was wonderful, and broke my heart in the gentlest way possible, and somehow hurts and strengthens at the same time. If I told you about it you would understand, but only partially.

And you already know exactly what I mean when I won’t. I don’t have to tell you; you already know.

 

Year 2: Day 122 – Butt Ducks

I have this friend who is certifiably mad.
All the best people are, you know.

I know I’m not supposed to go
traipsing off with lunatics
but a tinfoil hat is not so far
from a fedora, after all.

Today he’s telling me about butt ducks.
He talks to animals, aliens too.
We are at a nude beach
and I am staring intently into a book
and listening.

We had apples and a honey bun
and some cheddar chips and orange juice
for breakfast-
I selected that meal because I wanted it
and he is not picky.
We are at the nude beach because he wanted to
and I am not picky.

Butt ducks are special birds which give you looks
and speak into your mind, “look over here”
and then lean forward in the water
to show you the moon and make you laugh.

They are for cheering you up when no one else will,
he says.

There are some of our wondering mutual friends
who say “Don’t get murdered” and “Come here instead”
but the heart of me is with people who are mad,
who leave their shorts with me,

and don’t mind if I close my eyes
and am comforted,
just listening to their crazed laughter.

2014 Resolutions Roundup

Hi all,

I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe New Year celebration last night 🙂 I love the ideas of reflection and renewal that the new year brings, and I’ve always been big on the tradition of making resolutions, so I thought I would take this opportunity to share my progress this past year. I usually make my goals pretty subjective and malleable because y’know, life happens. I don’t like to make just one resolution because there are many different aspects of life to be taken into account. For 2014, my resolutions were:

1.) Read voraciously (Mental growth) – I made an effort to read more after several instances of being asked about the last book I read and not being able to recall when it was. Initially my goal was 15 novels, and when that was quickly surpassed, the goal doubled to 30. My end-of-year total is 52 (thanks to Goodreads for helping me keep track!) I shouldn’t have really been surprised at how easily I was able to make time for reading, but I guess that’s how it is for most things. Unless we make a conscious effort, important things can fall to the way side almost imperceptibly.

2.) Stay hydrated (Physical health) – I was in the hospital for a kidney stone in 2013, so this one was more of a “must do” than a “want to do”, but it morphed into a workout plan that I kept up with pretty well. I did the Couch-to-5k running program and became quite familiar with the gym at my complex, which is becoming more necessary for this junk-food lover as I get older. I don’t believe in weighing or measuring myself, but my doctor says I’m good and I feel great, so mission accomplished.

3.) Go back to school (Career) – I have a Bachelor’s in Elementary Ed but I wanted to explore different options for a Master’s Degree. I was accepted to a Library Sciences grad degree, but due to financial reasons, current workload, and my ever-changing mind, grad school is on hiatus for now. But as far as the goal, I consider it accomplished, as much as it could’ve been this year.

4.) Write that book (Passions/Hobbies)
5.) Finish 365 Poetry Project in September (Passions/Hobbies) – These two go hand-in-hand, and I hardly think I have to explain, but this is how Candy Pizza was born. Yep, crushed two goals into one, kaboom 😉

So, what are my goals for this year?

1.) Read through the entire Bible (Mental & Spiritual growth)
2) Stay hydrated & exercise regularly (Physical health)
3) Write another book (Passions/Hobbies)
4) Teaching re-certification and Library certification (Career)
5) Stay off Facebook for a year (Social & Mental health)

So now I’m accountable to the entire internet world to get this stuff done – check back this time next year to see if I nailed it 😉

So I’m curious, what are some of your goals? Are you generally successful with yours or do you prefer to play the year by ear? If you do set a goal this year, I wish you the best in your endeavors!

Blessings and happy reading,
Char

Radio Interview with The Magic Happens on Blog Talk Radio

I hope everyone had a great Christmas holiday yesterday- I know I did, and am now looking forward to a great new start in 2015!

I had a lovely chat today with blog reader Annette Rochelle Aben on her radio show The Magic Happens, chit-chatting about my book, Candy Pizza, this blog, and my perspective on writing, education, my job as a librarian, kids, my upcoming projects, etc. It was a lot of fun and, since I’ve never been on a radio show before, a check on my bucket list!

If you’ve got some extra time today while you’re relaxing off your Christmas-cookie coma, check out my interview and some of the other cool stuff at The Magic Happens.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/themagichappens/2014/12/26/charlotte-cuevas-and-candy-pizza-on-tell-me-a-story

Thanks to Annette for inviting me onto the show!

Blessings and happy reading,
Char