Love In My Sneakers

I didn’t know then that I was California-bound
except the fibers on the back of my neck
knew something was wrong
with where I was

and love didn’t make me stay.

I was levitating in the rabbit hole,
pleading for someone to choose for me
because everything I wanted
wasn’t enough;

it was love in my hands
but it was also love
in my sneakers.

And it let me go
just like I watched you go,
tired of holding my feet
to the floor.

I had love still dripping from my shoelaces,
dragged wet traces across the whole country.
I stained every sidewalk I found
with the love that I left.

But I was California-bound,
I was always heading here,
and the love that I couldn’t keep
steered me on.

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Day 42 – Lulabelle

She was a princess
from another planet,
pure of heart and innocent,
captured by an evil entity
and transformed
into the foreign creature
which sits in my lap today.

She was a precious jewel,
banished from her kingdom,
her memory stolen,
and forced to live out
her days in exile
here with me.

She doesn’t remember
and I can’t tell,
but I know she’ll be rescued
someday.

And when she goes back
to where she came from
I’ll be honored to have served
the new Queen.

Day 38 – Sushi Love

One roll,
Two rolls,
Three, four, five

Sushi on a Friday,
What a time to be alive

Salmon,
Wasabi,
Spicy tuna,
Eel

Rolled and chopped in pieces
Is my favorite kind of meal

Maki,
Tempura,
Nigiri,
Ponzu

I’m happy as a panda
Sharing sushi rolls with you

Day 36 – The Difference

If you were ten
I’d be six;
if you were starting school
I’d be a baby,
if I was starting college
you’d be leaving it
and we’d have never met.

If you ask me,
it’s pretty lucky
that you were 29 drinking coffee
and I was 25 drinking tea;
that I wasn’t looking for a man like you
and you weren’t looking for me.

The difference was only
experience-
a teapot ready to boil-
two flowers ripe
to reach towards the sun,
the past laying ground
for one moment
when everything
was ready.

And the difference
doesn’t matter now,
we’re both 4 and 12 and 21,
reliving every stage again
together.

Day 25 – TJ

My first boyfriend,
in 9th grade,
was TJ Peterson.

We went out for 2 weeks
and then I broke it off
because I thought
he didn’t like me enough.

I watched too many movies
and I thought
it should’ve been romantic,
something more obvious,

but he was just my friend
who was funny
who didn’t have any classes with me
so he sent his friend to get a bathroom pass
and deliver me notes
across the school.

They were just about his day,
and whether he did his homework or not,
and some doodles,
that’s all.

We wrote a lot that year,
even though his friends sometimes
gave him grief about it.

Someone said we should date
so we tried it,
but when we held hands
it was so sweaty
and I didn’t like when
people looked at us.

So I said it could never work
and he moved away soon after.
I didn’t really notice because
I liked the new goth kid
and TJ never really
liked me much anyway.

I never figured it real enough
to matter.

But I’m a lot older now,
and I’ve stomached at least one
episode of The Bachelor,
so I’m starting to think maybe
it was as real
as anything
ever is.